Good Friday : The Mother of All Boxing

Good Friday
John 18:1 – 19:42 : “And bowing his head, he handed over the spirit.”



Good Friday is the summit of the Holy Week celebration. In my six years as priest, I observed that churches overflow with people on Palm Sunday and the Easter Vigil celebrations. The churches during these times are vibrant and alive! But there is a notable decrease in attendance when Maundy Thursday and Good Friday liturgies come. Is it because of the summer heat? Or is it because we are unconsciously not at ease with Maundy Thursday and Good Friday liturgies? We are not Good Friday Christians. We welcome happiness and love victories in our life; but not pain, suffering and death.

But we’ve never learned. We are living in a reality that life is not a bed of roses and parties. Life is not only celebrations. It is not only victories nor health, nor of plenty. It has its thorns also. We are surrounded by the realities of pain and evil. Poverty is around us. People whom we know and close to us are dying of cancer. There is no peace in Mindanao. Families are in the brink of separation. My Tita Pilar is in coma after an accident. And we have our own battle within us against evil, temptations, hopelessness and unbelief.

But we don’t want to face our own darkness. We are always running away from our cross because we don’t want suffering. We don’t want to die. But the irony of life is – we are formed by our cross. We are transformed by facing our own crosses. Jesus’ final transfiguration did happen when people saw him hanging on the cross (in that seemingly defeated situation) and they exclaimed. “Truly, this was the Son of God.” (Matthew 27:54). He gained the real admiration from the Jews and non-believers, not in his triumphant entrance to Jerusalem, not in His resurrection on Easter…but when he was there on the cross …helplessly hanging and dying. They saw Jesus and declared Him as the “Son of God” in that in the seemingly humiliating and defeated situation.

As followers of Jesus, we need to face courageously our own crosses in life. What makes us genuine Christians is the cross; and not on our own moments of Palm Sunday or Easter experiences. There is no resurrection without the cross. There is no Easter joy without faithfully embracing our own Good Fridays. There’s no fullness of life without dying from ourselves in the name of love.

Sandwiches are named from their “palaman.” We called it tuna sandwich because there’s tuna in between the two slices of bread. It is what’s in between the two slices of bread that defines the sandwich.

Christians are defined not by our Palm Sunday and Easter moments, but by the cross we are carrying. It is our lived-moments of Holy Thursdays and Good Fridays that defines us.

______________________________


“He was turned over to His enemies. He went through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed to a Cross between two thieves. When He was dead He was taken down and laid in a borrowed grave through the pity of a friend. Such was His human life—He rises from the dead. I am within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, and all the navies that ever were built, and all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as powerfully as has that One Solitary Life.” -James C. Hefley


- Fr. Willy M. Samson,SJ
Pasobolong Chapel / Talisayan Chapel
April 10, 2009

Fighting with Towel

Holy Thursday
John 13: 1-15 “If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you
ought to wash one another’s feet.”


In boxing, when a trainer sees that his boxer is being badly beaten by his opponent, he throws a towel and the fight is over. In boxing arena, throwing a towel is a sign of surrender and giving up. But in the arena of loving, a towel picks up a different meaning – it is a sign of commitment to service and genuine loving.

In our gospel today, Jesus prepares himself for the greatest fight of His life. It is one person against the world. He knows that He is facing a dreadful, shameful and painful death. Clearly, it will be a lopsided victory by the enemy: “Jesus knew that his hour had come to pass from this world to the Father. The devil had already induced Judas to hand him over.” (John 13:2). It is very tempting for Jesus to throw the towel. In fact, when He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, he entertained throwing the towel and giving up, “My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering from me. Yet now what I want, but what you want.”(Matthew 26:39).

In our boxing arena called life, for brave fighters like Jesus, throwing the towel is not an option. He courageously faced His enemies up to the end: “He loved his own … and he loved them to the end.”(John 13:1). Jesus knows nobody loses in loving. And so, instead of throwing the towel, He decided to tie the towel on his waist and started washing the disciples’ feet. The Son of God gladly takes the role of a slave, ever ready to wash dirty things including the disciples’ dirty feet. It is fighting back with towel in the name of love.

One of the difficulties in washing things is the likelihood of getting dirty. We don’t want to clean things because we don’t want to mess ourselves. But when one loves, he/she is willing to get dirty. A mother finds joy in bathing her soiled child even it means getting soiled. A boy bathing his dog will eventually get wet. When one cleans things, he/she will likely get some dirt. The dirty towel becomes the symbol of service.

When Jesus decided to wash the disciples’ feet, He knew that he would be tainted with our dirt – our sins. But out of His love for us, he joyfully willed it. He died for our sins. His blood on the cross cleansed and renewed our wretched spirits.

But our pericope today did not end in washing feet. After the washing, Jesus wore his clothes back and said to the disciples, "Do you understand what I have just done to you? You, then, should wash one another’s feet.” (John 13:12-14).

Jesus gave us an example to follow. He wants us to tie a towel in our waist - a symbol of our desire to love and be of service to others. Tying a towel in our waist may mean going out of our comfort zones and be involved in cleaning others’ mess. In this world of consumerism where “service without a reward or compensation” is not a popular option, the only way to fight is to fight back with “towel” – to be a servant of all like Jesus. To serve and not to be served. To love and not to be loved … until death. It is a road less travelled and seldom appreciated, ironically, it is the only way to victory in the boxing arena called life.


Somebody did a golden deed; Somebody proved a friend in need; Somebody sang a beautiful song; Somebody smiled the whole day long; Somebody thought, 'Tis sweet to live; Somebody said, I'm glad to give; Somebody fought a valiant fight; Somebody lived to shield the right; Was that somebody you?" – Anonymous


- Fr.Willy M. Samson,SJ
Carmelite Convent
April 8, 2009

Isa Pang Boksing ng Isang Nanay

Dear Fr. Willy,

My boxing match has been more of an amateur level match, or sparring, even, when one compares it to the challenges faced by others.

My battles have been more with situations, rather than people, and it’s more of an internal battle. Ever since I’ve gotten married and moved to a new place 2-3 years ago, I’ve found myself struggling with internal issues – adjustment to a new stage in life, adjustment to the lack of freedom that comes with the territory – the peace and order situation in Zamboanga / Mindanao, adjustment to being away from all that is familiar, and missing the comfort of family and friends back home. Then when I became pregnant, there was also the excitement and fears that come with motherhood.

Round 1: Delivering my baby. It was a gruelling 17 hour labor – 13 hours of waiting for the right dilation, and the last 4 hours that felt like an eternity as I tried to push with all my might. Despite the difficulties of labor, giving birth to my baby boy was truly a blessing of God. Damang dama ko yung awa at pagmamahal ng Diyos sa panahon na iyon – akala ko hindi na ako makakaraos sa pagod at hirap ng pagpapanganak sa aking sanggol, pero noong talagang nawalan na ako ng lakas, nandyan ang aking mga supporter at coach – ang aking asawa na nagpapaalala sa akin na gawin ang mga Lamaze breathing technique, at ang aking ina, na binigyan ako ng chicken soup upang magkaroon ng lakas pa sa pagtutulak. Just when I felt like I was running on empty, literally, my mom was there to give me a drink of soup, and I had my own spiritual drink as I prayed to God to see me through until I deliver this baby boy – I prayed for strength. I felt a surge of His power run through me as I really strained to push – and finally, I cried in pain and joy as my baby finally saw the light and greeted the world with his crying. God was truly gracious and merciful to me in that time of physical struggle – and He blessed me and my husband with the greatest gift of all – the gift of life and love in the form of our baby.

Round 2: Raising a sickly baby. My baby was hospitalized when he was just 4 months old - after 5 days of very high fevers – due to ear infection. Those days of carrying him as he cried in such pain was so challenging and draining – I felt so helpless as I tried to comfort him. I had a very tiny glimpse of our Blessed Mother’s pain as she saw the passion of Christ Jesus. If only I could be the one suffering the pain instead of my baby, I would have gladly taken on the illness myself, to spare him of the hurt he went through. I thank God that after the medications, he got better

Round 3: Hospitalization number 2 when he was 8 months old – he had tonsillitis and had high fevers and couldn’t eat nor drink milk well. I prayed that he may get healthier and stronger – and the Lord answered my prayers, after 4 days in the hospital, he got better again.

Round 4: When he was hospitalized for yet a third time, his second hospitalization for the year 2008 – this time around he needed a blood transfusion because his haemoglobin was going down / he was a bit anemic. I really felt like breaking down. Talagang bugbog ako nun. Iyak lang ako ng iyak – sa takot para sa anak ko, sa galit ko sa sarili ko kung may pagkukulang ba ako bilang ina, at bakit naging masakitin ang anak ko, sa galit ko nung nalaman ko na natunaw lahat ng breastmilk na aking pinaghirapan i-pondo, dahil sa mga brownout sa Zamboanga. Siguro muntik na ako ma-knock-out noon. Pero ayan na naman ang Diyos, na tunay na nagmamahal at nagaaruga sa aming lahat, kahit na madalas, marami akong mga tanong sa Kanya, at kahit na madalas, makulit ako sa aking mga tanong at mga pagdududa.

Round 5: My own internal struggles – with insecurities, fears, loneliness, self-questioning – have led me to an up-down, consolation-desolation journey with myself and my God. Having moved to a new environment, wherein it’s more of my husband’s “territory” than mine, has really been challenging for me. There are days when being cooped up in the apartment really makes me feel impatient and unproductive. Having to say farewell to people and activities and groups that I held dear - I had to regroup and to take on a new role as wife and as mother. I have always been used to my other roles in the past – group moderator, teacher, mentor, volunteer – these roles defined me. And without these roles, I felt a certain part of me seems to be missing. Motherhood does take up most of my time, but lately, I find myself wondering if there is some call for me to do more again, like I used to. Ang hirap i-explain po, Father, at alam ko napagusapan na po natin ito last SD session – clear naman sa akin na first priority ko ang aking pamilya, asawa at anak. Pero, I guess may personal needs din ako for fulfilment – professional, etc. – beyond my roles as wife and mother. Alam ko naman hindi lahat ng tao, puede maging Superman / Superwoman, pero gusto ko rin sana tumubo sa iba pang aspeto ng aking buhay, tulad ng dati. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung ito ba ay katigasan ng aking ulo, o isang attachment – to the way things were before. Recently, having involved myself in volunteer advocacy work (children with cancer) with the photography club I joined here has helped filled that void a little, somehow. Pasensya po, Father, I am rambling here. As you can see, there are some areas of confusion, and some of clarity naman. As with all things, I think God’s call to me now is “Patient Trust” – na wag magpabugbog sa aking sariling mga pagdududa, o sa aking kainipan o frustrations sa buhay, at manalig sa Kanya – magtiwala sa Kanyang mga plano, sa Kanyang pagsasa-ayos ng mga bagay-bagay sa buhay, ayon sa Kanyang Sariling Oras (in His good time).

Palagay ko Father, kahit naman po amateur division ako sa aking Boksing ng Buhay, hindi titigil ang mga rounds. Sige-sige lang ang mga rounds, at kailangan ko makibakbakan pa. Pero ang malinaw po sa akin na kailangan kong magtiwala sa Diyos, na Siya ang gumagabay sa aking mga kamao habang ako ay nakikipag-bakbakan sa buhay. ‘Ika nga, (and this is a twist on some satirical line I read on the Internet): “I am going to beat them up with my Jesus fists”

Isa pang reflection ko sa buhay boksing: Minsan, akala ko ang Diyos ay ang Referree, minsan naman, parang Siya ang aking nai-gugulpi dala ng aking mga sala, mga pagdududa, mga pagkukulang ng tiwala at pananalig sa Kanya. Sa aking focus sa aking mga natanggap na sapak mula sa buhay, tila nakakalimutan ko na higit pa dyan ang aking pagiging bugbog—bugbog sa pagmamahal ng Diyos. Marami ang mga biyaya na aking natanggap mula sa Kanya, at karapat-dapat na Siya’y aking pasalamatan, sa pamamagitan ng pagmamahal ko sa mga tao sa aking paligid – pamilya, kaibigan, katrabaho – at sa aking komunidad, sambayanan, mundo. Kailangan kong alalahanin na ang pagmamahal ng Diyos dapat ang gumabay sa aking mga kamay habang ako ay nakikipagsapalaran sa buhay. Anumang “ring”, sinuman o anuman ang kalaban, ang aking Diyos ay parati lamang nariyan, binibigyan ako ng lakas muli sa buhay boksing – ang lakas na iyan ay nanggagaling sa pagtitiwala na hindi Niya ako iiwanan, na mahal na mahal niya ako.



Zamboanga Mom

Boksing ng Isang Nanay

A friend of mine sent this beautiful sharing of her own boxing. Allow me to share this ... in the end, she won with God.
Sa Boksing ng Buhay, kapag si Lord ang kasama mo ...walang talo.
______________________________________________________


When Mario, my eldest son stepped into high school, he started to become my biggest “care”. His life in the elementary and even high school years was a bit easier for me since we were together in the same school. His teachers were my co- teachers and he was so obedient on the rules I’ve set for his personal safety, and even academic success. Mario was born an “easy” child to love , mold and care for. But when he entered college, life for us has greatly changed. I am no longer in control of his time, his activities, whom he was going with . All the more when he left home to work as a nurse abroad. The first few nights were sleepless nights for me because of fear that bad things might happen to Mario and I am so far away from him that I can not easily be with him in time of greatest need for my presence. . My fear would get so intense when I see documentary films like “Rescue 911”. I lost my peace that I was bordering between paranoia and panic attack.

In an act more of desperation than obedience I cried out to God concerning this. Lord God! tulungan Mo po ako sa laban kong ito, hirap na hirap na ako! Ting!, ting! ting! My greatest REFEREE rang the time out bell. He sat with me in my corner and reminded me, “Mario is My gift to your husband and you. I care for your son even more than you do.” I was reminded of the biblical instruction to “Cast all your cares upon Him” (1Peter 5:7), and so I did. From that point on, I’ve learned to release Mario into God’s Hands. He is now on his 16th year working in California so blessed by my Greatest Manager and Referee.

I had the same kind of Boksing Nanay with my girl Gina. The pattern of the fight was so similar to the kind of fight I had with Mario’s. I cried the most painful tears and sobs for mixed feelings of pain of letting her go to live with her husband and children in Canada, what would life be for her in a foreign land etc. And when I allow myself to wallow in these fears and anxieties till I feel almost defeated by my unknown giant Fears, my Greatest Referee rings my time out bell. He would whisper to my ears “Cast all your fears unto Me”, then my peace is restored and I grow strong for my fight.

As the years went by I realized my Manager have prepared for me five boxing fights in my life as a mother. I already came out victorious in my three Nanay boxing fights. But this my fourth fight is the toughest one, my fight with my second boy who from elementary years until college have given me a difficult fight. My son Jay, was a frequent visitor to the Prefect of Discipline and Guidance Office in his elementary years because he would pick up a fight with male or female classmates and becomes a destruction to the class, thus, a behavior problem to his teacher.

He is an intelligent child as all his teachers would tell me, yet he was underachieving. He exhausted all his energies in basketball and computer games. His grades were deteriorating as every grading quarter came by. He finally graduated grade six and moving on to high school and finally to college compounded the toughness of my fight as a mother. I have come to a point that whenever I would meet his teachers in campus, my heart would pound like a dribbled basketball preparing to listen to a knock out report. I became a very frustrated mother that my heart and my ears did no longer know how to expect good news about my son’s performance in school. I suffered quietly deep inside. Araw-araw pasan ko ang krus of being a mother who wants only to prepare her child for his best future. In school being the coordinator for Faculty and Staff formation , I was for many years involved in Parenting conferences for all parents of the entire Ateneo Grade School. Parenting my own first three children and teaching early childhood pupils for 17 years enabled me to talk with confidence and assurance about effective parenting.

My experiences with them almost made me believe that I really have gotten the knowledge and wisdom of the many renowned authors about parenthood and have found the secrets of successful parents. But parenting my son Jay, made everything turned upside down. I lost my confidence in what I knew in all the principles of child rearing and all the early childhood development and human psychology written by most renowned psychiatrist , psychologist and child developmental theorist . Every philosophy, principle, formula, experience and whatever was written and said about successful parenting suddenly to me became a hoax . I stopped getting involved in parenting conferences. What right do I have to stand before parents who are so excited to hear secrets of bringing up their children to the best they can be ,and here is my own son who defies every thing I say to develop a respectable image, safety and success in school.

Jay and I have come to a point where dialogue is impossible. He closes himself to any conversation or dialogue I would initiate with him. He has consumed his waking hours in listening to music and dancing, doing choreography for all dance groups , debuts and school programs. He totally neglected his own studies. I became so afraid of what will happen to him- my worst fear was he might be going with bad companions, getting into alcohol and worst is drugs. I was enveloped with fear every time he comes home in the early dawn hour- my prayer time hour. I became a defeated boxer.

For two years I allowed myself to wallow in disappointment, frustration in being an ineffective parent. But I continued talking to my Manager and my Referee. I talked to Him in the silence of my heart for many nights . I told Him “ ayaw ko nang lumaban pa sa boxing arena ng mga Nanay. Pagod na pagod na ako, pinanghihinaan na ako ng loob, sadyang di ko na kaya. Kung pipilitin ko man baka batuhin lang nila ako ng kamatis dahil kilala nila ako at ang anak ko. I did have many moments of temptations- doubting if my God was listening to my pleas. But answers would come to my mind like – si Sta Monica naging santa dahil sa anak niyang si Augustine ! St Monica prayed for 30 years for the conversion of her son. Then I would mentally retort- sus! Lord kaya ko ba yan katagal? Pagod na ako Lord at matanda na ako. Yet again the bell rang for my time out and my Great Referee sat with me in my corner and His whisper was clear “ Would you limit Me in what I can do with your son? Just allow Me to take hold and have full access of his life I will take care of him even better than you can”. From that moment on I said “ Yes Lord I am releasing my son Jay into Your Hands and ask You to be in charge of his life. Sa pagka nanay ko surrender na ako. Walang-wala na talaga akong magagawa sagad na ang lahat kung pag unawa, pag pasensiya, at pagbibigay. Suko na ako Lord, Ikaw na Po ang bahala sa kanya.

Over a year I prayed this kind of prayer- daily releasing my son Jay into God’s Hands. I asked God to take care of him as the sun rise for a new day until the next sunrise for another day.

My Manager, my Great Referee surprised me one morning when my son Jay asked me- “Ma, do you have time for me? I have something very important to tell you”. I answered anak, I will always have time to listen to you. And the greatest dialogue in my son’s lifetime happened. He said with tears in his eyes- “Ma, pagod na ako sa buhay ko. Parang wala akong patutunguhan. Matagal na tayong di nagkasama sa pagkain, dahil pagising ko ay wala na kayong lahat. Matagal na rin akong di nakasama sa inyo ni Papa sa pagsimba tuwing Linggo na kinagisnan ko dahil puyat ako at di makagising ng maaga. Gusto ko nang magbago Ma. Bigyan po ninyo ako ng one last chance. Paniwalaan po ninyo ako na abutin ko ang araw na sasabihin po ninyo” Mag -graduate ang anak ko. Proud ako sa anak ko. Hindi na ako magpromise Ma, gagawin ko na lang. Sorry po sa lahat na nagawa kong pagpasakit sa inyo ni Papa.”

To cut short my boxing story, last April 3, 2009, my son was admitted to enroll in a prestigious university for a four year degree course which starts in June. His subjects were all credited ,nothing was wasted. He is so excited to start a new life as a student in a new place and new environment. Ting! Ting! Ting! Panalo ako sa boksing ng buhay Nanay! Thanks to my Manager and my Great Referee!

I know I still have many more days and even years ahead when I have to release my son Jay into God’s Hands. I would like to say the same prayer Hannah had prayed for her son Samuel, who became one of the greatest prophet of God the world has ever known. “For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore , I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord” (1 Samuel: 27-29).

My Manager and Referee told me I still have one more Boxing Nanay fight as my youngest girl is about to enter college in June. Well, I would say as long as Ikaw pa rin ang Manager at Referee ko Lord, okey lang ang laban ko. Thanks be to God! Ikaw ilang fight pa ba ang ilalaban mo?


- Nanay Zamboanga



---------------------------------------

You may want to share your own boxing and inspire other people who are losing and being tempted to surrender their fight. Send your sharing to willysamson@yahoo.com